What do you say? Do you tell her?
I told her.
And now your wife
wants to know why.
So does your therapist.
Maybe it’s because you remember
the day you figured it out
in fifth grade,
a full three years before
it was revealed
in junior high health class
by a football coach
that said puberty
poo-ber-dee.
You were riding your bike
home after school,
puzzling it out.
You knew that somehow
the penis had to
get into the vagina
for babies to get made.
But it just didn’t seem possible
that the penis,
a squishy little piece of flesh,
could be pushed against a vagina,
and do anything but crumple.
If only it could be made firmer,
if only it had another state.
Wait a minute,Â
I stopped the bike for this.
I remembered that the penis
almost has the desired properties
when you wake up in the morning.
What your mom sometimes calls a flagpole.
Yes, that might just work,
a flagpole penis.
Oh my God, a flagpole penis!
If you don’t take into account my age
at that moment,
you might be unimpressed,
but remember this was pre-poo-ber-dee.
An erection was in no way connected
to desire in my mind.
I was like a man who’d never seen water,
trying to figure out how a fish swims.
I was an anatomical engineer
that deduced the solution from first principles.
It was my on-the-road-to-Damascus moment.
Okay, not everybody gets to be Paul.
But when the great engineer in the sky
has called your name,
you go out and you preach the word.
And that is why I told my daughter.
Check out all the work in the Collection: Occasional Verse